2010 September 05 | Kelly Lake, Oconto County Wisconsin

“Testicle Festival?!”

“Sliced thin to eat with a grin!” I don’t know how to handle this delicately, but here goes! For the last couple years, the Kelly Lake Levars and company have been coaxing us to go to Breed (near Mountain) for the “Testicle Festival”; you know, where the menu for the 8th annual event reads, “hamburgers, corn, soda, libations and, and, ah, bull testicles! Though grateful(?) for the invitation to join them through the years, we gracefully declined; holding back a gag as we did so. Perhaps this is a bit gross… but I imagined you eat them like oysters; tossing them over your tongue, to the back of your mouth and let them slide down your throat with a glass of wine to rinse the slimy residue along! However, the Levars ever so persuasive, Shirley and I reluctantly agreed; Shirley said she’d go along, but wasn’t going to eat them; she didn’t. (Side note: I imagined there being some bulls out there in the pasture bellyaching and bellowing, “Meow, meow”, rather , “Moo, Moooo”!)

We arrived at the festivity typical of a holiday celebration; DJ, corn roasting, people (and kids) laughing, mingling, drinking, eating. First venue? Belly-up to the bar for some bravado; courage; guts… Suffice it to say, this macho image portrayed by the patrons—some leather garbed—purporting to have the b____ to eat gonads didn’t impress me! Mothers and children were eating them, too; women and children first… please!

Well (not actually so ‘well’, thinking about it), we slugged down the beer; ordered another to slug down the slug we were about to feast on, and made our way to the gourmet grill. Nothing what I thought. The testicles were sliced thin, breaded and deep fried. This was NUTS! They were serving them up as fast as they could fry them! One could hardly taste anything but salt and batter. Tasted almost like chicken Actually they were good! I wonder who came up with this nutty idea! Roger